Yes, I LOVE to shop. It's not very many women I know that don't. Especially at good sale events and lately, there's been PLENTY of sales out there. I find myself doing a lot of shopping on-line - especially if I'm bored at work (and I really need to quit - uh, shopping on-line at work that is, not my job!). Lately, I've gotten some pretty good deals on eBay - mostly cute summer dresses and purses. I learned my lesson quick about buying shoes off eBay - in a word, don't. As a matter of fact, I would caution anyone buying shoes from anywhere on-line. There's just too many variables involved. Physically going to the store and trying the shoe on before purchasing IS the best bet.
Last week, I participated in a shopping event for the first time in my life - the "Garage Sale." In one of my girlfriend's neighborhood, it is an annual event. She told me about it back in May, and we both agreed that we would participate as "sellers" since we both had a lot of "stuff."
I've been to one or two garage sales, but never been one to be on the market to buy other people's used "stuff" - it's just not my thing. I understand that there are some who consider themselves "garage sale fanatics" and every now and then you'll read or hear about an "antique" that was bought at a garage sale, only to be valued at hundreds or thousands more than the original purchase price.
Being a seller is a totally different experience. My friend, "D" warned me, "LeoTheLioness, there are going to be a LOT of Hispanic people and they are going to come EARLY. The sale starts at 7:00 a.m., but don't be surprised if they start coming at 6:00 a.m." I'm thinking, WTF! There is no way in hell I'm going to be set-up and ready to go at 6:00 a.m. I don't get up that early to go to work!
The sale was on Sat., June 13, but for me, the process began way before then. I have a storage unit FULL of "stuff." I downsized from a 3-bedroom, 2.5 bathroom house to a one bedroom apartment, so you can imagine all the "stuff" I have, right? It really is ridiculous the amount of "stuff" you accumulate.
First, I had to sort through what seemed like a TON of clothes. As I was sorting, a lot of memories surfaced, but that's another blog for another time. Then, the "knick-knacks," shoes, and other assorted things that are too many to mention. Next, I contacted a "Party Rental" place that provided tables and coat racks to display the "stuff" I was going to sale. Next, I had to figure out how I was going to get the tables and coat racks delivered and returned. Of course, I know one or two people with trucks, but these trucks are not for hauling - their trucks are for "stylin' and profilin'! Thank God for couriers! I surely did NOT want to haul tables and coat racks, on top of all the stuff I was selling (which turned out to be two full carloads - trunk included).
One night, I was at my storage unit sorting (which is really kinda spooky, but it's inside, air-conditioned and secure). Not really paying attention to the time, I had stuff up and down the hallway. When I took my load to the car, I noticed that it was after 9 p.m. OH HELL! Access is cut-off at 9. I still had stuff all over the hallway and my unit was wide open. Well, there really wasn't anything I could do about it, so I loaded the car and went home. After all, no one could access any units anyway, so I was pretty sure my stuff would be o.k. The next morning, I got up at 6:00, made it to my unit by 6:15 and put everything back in order by 6:45. Note to self: be completely finished at storage unit by 8:30 p.m.!
The night before the sale, I take my last carload. I'm unloading the stuff to be put in D's living room. I'm almost done and she comes outside and says, "Let me go over Mr. Willie's house (across the street) and see if he can put the stuff in his garage because he has more room." So, I'm thinking why the hell didn't you tell me this BEFORE I unloaded all this crap, but I didn't say anything. So, she goes over to Mr. Willie's, he says, "yes." We get the stuff over to Mr. Willie's, his wife comes out and sees a few things she wants and I make a quick $20. I think Mr. Willie and his wife end up spending $40 total, and recruited another neighbor who spent $10. :)
The next day (which was Friday), I took a day off to get everything priced and organized - believe me - it took the whole day. Thankfully, it was overcast and pleasant. Not blazing hot with the sun beaming down on you. The tables and coat racks were delivered, and by nightfall, I was 90% done with pricing. Most people don't price items for their garage sale, but a little on-line research told me that it's best to tag & price everything because most people are too shy to ask "how much?" and will walk on by. Also, I learned that you price things .50 - $2.00 higher to leave room for "haggling." At some point, I was just tired of pricing stuff so, anything that didn't have a price tag was "negotiable."
The night before the sale, I spend the night at "D's" house which I refer to as "my vacation home in the city" or "the bed and breakfast." I have "my" bedroom, which is in front of the house so the morning of the sale, I wake up about 6:15 a.m., peek out the window - no cars. At about 6:30 a.m., I hear one car go by, then another at about 6:45 a.m. At about 7:15 a.m., I peek out again and see Mr. Willie setting up, so I get my butt outta bed. Mr. Willie ain't gonna outdo me! At about 7:30, "D" comes down. In that short 15 min. time span, there are at least four carloads of people waiting for us to set up. "Are you going to have any household items?" one lady asks. "Yes," I answer. "Well, I'll give you some time to set up, then I'll be back! Most of the neighborhood is still setting up, so they should've said the sale starts at 7:30." I respond, "well, you know how WE do" and smile, but I'm thinking, Lady you have no idea! I'd like to see YOU get up and be ready to roll at 7:00 a.m. after all the stuff I've been through and not getting in bed until 1:30 or 2:00 a.m.! I have no idea how long it took to set up because as soon as they saw stuff on the table, they were on us like white on rice! So much so that we didn't eat anything ALL day except for when the ice cream truck came by. It was even a challenge to get a break and go to the bathroom!
"D" was right - there were a LOT of Hispanic people - a lot of which did not speak English at all, or the English they did speak was very broken. One observation I did make was that if the woman was with her husband/boyfriend, HE carried the money. The scenario: she would see something she wanted, tell him about it (in Spanish), ask me how much, tell him how much (in Spanish), get the money from him, pay me. Or, the women who were alone or with their children or girlfriends would offer $1 to $5 lower than the "asking" price. Actually, this kinda pissed me off because I priced the stuff so cheap anyway, but "D" reminded me that this is stuff that you want to get rid of, so just be happy that they are taking it off your hands. Touche. Point taken.
But, my clothes were a different story. We are NOT talking about cheaply made clothes purchased at Wal-Mart or something. I'm talking about NICE, gently used clothes in PERFECT CONDITION - mostly designer labels - R. Lauren, Banana Republic, Gap and The Limited, just to name a few.
For example, I had a Ralph Lauren sweatsuit - perfect condition. Asking price - $15. By the end of the day, I was so tired of haggling and hand gesturing, I let it go for $4. Then, this one lady had picked out a Kenneth Cole shirt ($4) a 2-piece outfit ($10) and a dress ($10). I told her she could have it all for $15. She mumbled something, put it back on the rack and walked off. Whatever. I was like, do they expect you to let this stuff go for nothing? Well, I ain't the one, so guess what, I'm making an appointment at a consignment shop this week - cha ching! I also have a dorm-size refrigerator. Perfect condition. Asking price $30. Guess what? I bought it back home with me. There were plenty of inquiries, but I was not budging off the price. I'll wait until about the end of July/beginning of August when the kids are getting ready to go to college and I betcha I can get $50 for it.
I ended up bringing back 1 carload of stuff - mostly clothes, so I guess you could say I ended up selling 1/2 of the stuff I had for sale - not bad, not bad at all.
I still have a black side-by-side refrigerator w/water & ice dispenser on the door, a leaf blower, a lawn mower, 2 ceiling fans and a washer/dryer for sale. I'm reluctant to sale the washer/dryer because I would hate to move to a different apartment that didn't have a washer/dryer in the unit, then have to buy them again or (Heaven forbid), go to the Laundrymat (oh hell no!), so I'll probably hang on to those. I've decided I will NEVER mow another lawn again in my life, so I'm going to place an ad and get rid of those. The refrigerator - another item I would hate to have to buy over again, but EVERY apartment comes with a fridge, right? It's just some things that I guess I'm not ready to part with just yet - you never know what the future might bring.
Monday, June 22, 2009
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Crazy & Annoying Co-Workers Part II
The end of last week was pure bliss. The woman who sits next to me was on vacation the latter part of the week, and no supervisor on Thursday or Friday. I'm paying now though. She caught a cold while on vacay and now I'm being subjected to intermittent noise emissions from her mouth that sounds like a cat trying to cough up a hairball - ick. Overheard this gem yesterday as she was speaking to another co-worker about her 2-year-old neice, "well, you know when they start re-enacting with one another, that's when the real trouble begins." Uh, what - re-enacting? Don't you mean "interacting?"
When I was first hired, I was assigned to Dr. T. No one wanted to be this dude's Admin. because basically, he's afraid of technology. We have a database that we enter cases into. The Dr.'s were responsible for typing in the appropriate info, then pass it along to the Admin. for further processing. Well, Dr. T refused to do it, so he would dictate his cases onto tape, and I would transcribe them. Archaic, I know. He would be going along pretty good, then all of a sudden he would belch or clear his throat. WTF!? I had to put the check down immediately on THAT nonsense. So, one day I went into his office and sat down. Me: "Dr. T we cool right?" Him: "Yes." Me: "Well, I don't know if there's any nice way to say it, but you have got to stop belching and clearing your throat on tape." Him: Turned a little red. "Oh, I'm so sorry about that. It won't happen again." Problem solved. But, then there's this. Dr. T's breath is so bad, it could melt fiberglass. I am not lying. We've all tried to speculate on why - all day coffee drinker, doing the Atkins diet, plain ole halitosis, rotten teeth? Who knows, but when he's talking, it's like a black cloud descends on the area and you need to don a biohazard suit. He also has this habit of patting himself. Yes, down there. At any given moment, his hand might drift south and he gives it a little pat. I am so serious. Believe me, I couldn't make this stuff up if I wanted to. Another co-worker thinks he's checking to see if it's still there and my response to that is, where the hell is it gonna go? To top it all off, this man has a wife! He met her on some internet dating site and they ended up getting married. Now if his breath is stank during the day, can you imagine what it smells like in the morning after all them funk particles have marinated all night? Lord, Jesus!
"M" - former supervisor. I suspect she's gay. Why? Because I notice that she occasionally glances at "the girls" (my boobs) when we are having a conversation. I know - ick, right? Also, she brings "J" (a woman) to all of the dept. and company functions (i.e., X-mas party, picnics). "M" is one of those people who makes decent money but is cheap as hell. Now, I'm not one to try to dictate how anybody spends their money, but to me, to be cheap is annoying - especially those that ask how much you paid for something, then criticize you 'cuz they would never pay that much. Whatever. "M" delights in telling people about her body functions and her health issues. What comes to mind immediately is she'll see you eating something and say, "I can't eat that 'cuz it would have me in the toilet in five minutes!" Who the hell wants to hear that while they are eating?! Or, she'll say, "I had ________ for lunch and it just went right through me." Apparently, the other day she had a colonoscopy. That particular day, the VP treated the dept. to pizza, so we were all gathered in the conference room chatting and eating. Here comes "M." She sits down and says, "Whew, this is the first normal meal I've had since I had my procedure." So of course, the dumbasses in the room who didn't know they were being baited asked, "what procedure?" Then, she goes on to talk about her colonoscopy. I left the room. One good thing about "M" is once you've gained her confidence (which I have) she will give you the dirt on other people's business in the dept. Luckily and thankfully, she wasn't my supervisor for long, but any chance she gets she'll tell people how she helps "her people" move on to bigger and better things, which is a complete lie. She did nothing to assist me with getting promoted and the same people who worked for her when I did are the same people who work for her today (with the exception of other person besides myself). As a matter of fact, I remember seeking her guidance on possibly obtaining a Master's Degree and she told me, "I don't know what your emphasis should be - whatever you think you like to do." Oh yeah, thanks for that. "M" made the mistake of making derogatory remarks about a co-worker (who wasn't there to defend herself) in a staff meeting. I happened to really like this co-worker, and "M's" remarks were unnecessary. Ever since then, I've pretty much been fakin' the funk with "M" - meaning she thinks we cool, but we really not. She's a cheap, self-centered hater and that's annoying.
Subsequently, me and the co-worker she was talking about ("B") have become pretty tight. She was promoted a year or so ago and you can almost taste the jealousy and envy of those still in the dept. "B" is now in a position where she's privy to a lot of info that these yahoos down here only wish they knew. She's very well-connected in the industry. Those who "have the power" within the company consider her a friend and sometimes seek her advice. These peons down here hate it and of course, we absolutely love it!
"C" - why does she get the hiccups every afternoon? Then, she hiccups with her mouth open which makes it louder. I just want to go over there and tell her, "close your f-ing mouth - DAMN!"
We have a "community kitchen" which contains a small fridge, sink, ice maker and coffee machine (the company provides coffee & tea). About a month or so ago, I noticed people started leaving their dishes on the sink to soak. WTF? Who the hell wants to look at a nasty a** bowl or cup sitting on the sink with floating food particles? I don't. So, I politely washed the dishes, the typed a little note, folded it, and put it inside the cups/bowls - "please respect your co-workers by not leaving your dirty dishes on the sink" or something of that nature. So, later that afternoon, I'm coming back from the ladies room and I walk past the kitchen. One of the offenders is there reading the note. She says, "T, look at this note in my coffee cup!" I read it and make this face like WTF?! LOL! Then she says something to the effect that if they don't like it, they can use the other kitchen. See, that's what I'm talking about. Why should I have to inconvenience myself by walking to the opposite end of the office to use the other kitchen 'cuz your lazy a** wants to leave dirty dishes on the sink instead of washing them immediately? End result - haven't seen dirty dishes on the sink lately - mission accomplished.'
Why would you take your water bottle and stick in the ice machine like it's a cooler at the backyard picnic? Are you serious? This time, I flat out saw the girl do it and called her out right then in there. She took the bottle out immediately, but the damage was done. This time, I did go to the opposite end of the office to get ice and wouldn't use the ice from that machine for about 2 weeks.
I should've labeled this post, "Crazy, Annoying & Nasty Co-Workers."
When I was first hired, I was assigned to Dr. T. No one wanted to be this dude's Admin. because basically, he's afraid of technology. We have a database that we enter cases into. The Dr.'s were responsible for typing in the appropriate info, then pass it along to the Admin. for further processing. Well, Dr. T refused to do it, so he would dictate his cases onto tape, and I would transcribe them. Archaic, I know. He would be going along pretty good, then all of a sudden he would belch or clear his throat. WTF!? I had to put the check down immediately on THAT nonsense. So, one day I went into his office and sat down. Me: "Dr. T we cool right?" Him: "Yes." Me: "Well, I don't know if there's any nice way to say it, but you have got to stop belching and clearing your throat on tape." Him: Turned a little red. "Oh, I'm so sorry about that. It won't happen again." Problem solved. But, then there's this. Dr. T's breath is so bad, it could melt fiberglass. I am not lying. We've all tried to speculate on why - all day coffee drinker, doing the Atkins diet, plain ole halitosis, rotten teeth? Who knows, but when he's talking, it's like a black cloud descends on the area and you need to don a biohazard suit. He also has this habit of patting himself. Yes, down there. At any given moment, his hand might drift south and he gives it a little pat. I am so serious. Believe me, I couldn't make this stuff up if I wanted to. Another co-worker thinks he's checking to see if it's still there and my response to that is, where the hell is it gonna go? To top it all off, this man has a wife! He met her on some internet dating site and they ended up getting married. Now if his breath is stank during the day, can you imagine what it smells like in the morning after all them funk particles have marinated all night? Lord, Jesus!
"M" - former supervisor. I suspect she's gay. Why? Because I notice that she occasionally glances at "the girls" (my boobs) when we are having a conversation. I know - ick, right? Also, she brings "J" (a woman) to all of the dept. and company functions (i.e., X-mas party, picnics). "M" is one of those people who makes decent money but is cheap as hell. Now, I'm not one to try to dictate how anybody spends their money, but to me, to be cheap is annoying - especially those that ask how much you paid for something, then criticize you 'cuz they would never pay that much. Whatever. "M" delights in telling people about her body functions and her health issues. What comes to mind immediately is she'll see you eating something and say, "I can't eat that 'cuz it would have me in the toilet in five minutes!" Who the hell wants to hear that while they are eating?! Or, she'll say, "I had ________ for lunch and it just went right through me." Apparently, the other day she had a colonoscopy. That particular day, the VP treated the dept. to pizza, so we were all gathered in the conference room chatting and eating. Here comes "M." She sits down and says, "Whew, this is the first normal meal I've had since I had my procedure." So of course, the dumbasses in the room who didn't know they were being baited asked, "what procedure?" Then, she goes on to talk about her colonoscopy. I left the room. One good thing about "M" is once you've gained her confidence (which I have) she will give you the dirt on other people's business in the dept. Luckily and thankfully, she wasn't my supervisor for long, but any chance she gets she'll tell people how she helps "her people" move on to bigger and better things, which is a complete lie. She did nothing to assist me with getting promoted and the same people who worked for her when I did are the same people who work for her today (with the exception of other person besides myself). As a matter of fact, I remember seeking her guidance on possibly obtaining a Master's Degree and she told me, "I don't know what your emphasis should be - whatever you think you like to do." Oh yeah, thanks for that. "M" made the mistake of making derogatory remarks about a co-worker (who wasn't there to defend herself) in a staff meeting. I happened to really like this co-worker, and "M's" remarks were unnecessary. Ever since then, I've pretty much been fakin' the funk with "M" - meaning she thinks we cool, but we really not. She's a cheap, self-centered hater and that's annoying.
Subsequently, me and the co-worker she was talking about ("B") have become pretty tight. She was promoted a year or so ago and you can almost taste the jealousy and envy of those still in the dept. "B" is now in a position where she's privy to a lot of info that these yahoos down here only wish they knew. She's very well-connected in the industry. Those who "have the power" within the company consider her a friend and sometimes seek her advice. These peons down here hate it and of course, we absolutely love it!
"C" - why does she get the hiccups every afternoon? Then, she hiccups with her mouth open which makes it louder. I just want to go over there and tell her, "close your f-ing mouth - DAMN!"
We have a "community kitchen" which contains a small fridge, sink, ice maker and coffee machine (the company provides coffee & tea). About a month or so ago, I noticed people started leaving their dishes on the sink to soak. WTF? Who the hell wants to look at a nasty a** bowl or cup sitting on the sink with floating food particles? I don't. So, I politely washed the dishes, the typed a little note, folded it, and put it inside the cups/bowls - "please respect your co-workers by not leaving your dirty dishes on the sink" or something of that nature. So, later that afternoon, I'm coming back from the ladies room and I walk past the kitchen. One of the offenders is there reading the note. She says, "T, look at this note in my coffee cup!" I read it and make this face like WTF?! LOL! Then she says something to the effect that if they don't like it, they can use the other kitchen. See, that's what I'm talking about. Why should I have to inconvenience myself by walking to the opposite end of the office to use the other kitchen 'cuz your lazy a** wants to leave dirty dishes on the sink instead of washing them immediately? End result - haven't seen dirty dishes on the sink lately - mission accomplished.'
Why would you take your water bottle and stick in the ice machine like it's a cooler at the backyard picnic? Are you serious? This time, I flat out saw the girl do it and called her out right then in there. She took the bottle out immediately, but the damage was done. This time, I did go to the opposite end of the office to get ice and wouldn't use the ice from that machine for about 2 weeks.
I should've labeled this post, "Crazy, Annoying & Nasty Co-Workers."
Monday, June 1, 2009
Crazy & Annoying Co-Workers
Let's talk about co-workers.
I work in a rather large department (about 25 people) at the Corporate Office of an Animal Health pharmaceutical company. This department is responsible for taking complaints from the public and DVMs who have used our product and have experienced an "adverse event." Then, there's the department within the department (where I work) which is made up of three people. Initially, I was part of the larger department and took many a call from pissed off & upset people who's dog/cat/horse/cow had gotten ill from our products. A couple years ago I was promoted out of that madness and ended up where I am today.
Every day, for 8 hours a day, I am mostly irritated and partly amused at the antics of the woman who sits next to me. I remember when I was first promoted to the position, the cubicles were such that we could see each other. A quick call to Office Services remedied that situation within a week. I already knew, there was no way in hell I was going to let this woman be all up in my business like that! At first, she tried to offer her suggestions on how I should do MY job (because she had "helped" the prior person in the position), so I quickly adopted this statement that shut her up immediately - "I'll ask Dr. P how he wants to handle it (Dr. P is the Director). As time went on, we became accustomed to one another. There was never any tension, arguing or disagreements between us. We work well together because both of us have totally different responsibilities. She knows certain aspects about my job, as I know certain aspects of hers, but there has never been any need for either one of us to cover for one another - except when either one of us are on vacation and then, there is only so much either one of us can do. Works perfectly for me.
So, you may be asking - where does the "mostly irritated" come in? Well, I'll tell you. She complains about EVERYTHING, is always quick to point out the negative, talks so loud that I think she has a hearing problem, if I don't almost whisper when I'm on the phone on a personal call, when I hang up she'll make some stupid comment like I was talking to her, when people are having a conversation and happen to walk past, she'll comment out the clear blue sky on their conversation, she says "OKIE DOKIE!" at the end of EVERY conversation, if I'm out of the office for a doctor's appointment, she'll tell anyone who calls my extension instead of just saying, "she's out of the office, mayI take a message," anytime she's out of the office (let's say for vacation), she has to tell EVERYBODY that calls, "well, I'm outta here in x days - I'm going on vacation to Hawaii!" (her & henpecked husband have a timeshare and that's the only place they EVER go), or when she comes back from vacation, "I just got back from vacation in Hawaii!" Her son just graduated from MU (he wants to be a meterologist), but you would think he just graduated from Princeton or Harvard because she told EVERYBODY that called, "I'll be out because my son is graduating from MU." Daily, this is my prayer - Lord, Jesus help me!
A "typical" day goes something like this.
In the a.m., she drinks hot tea, so I'm subjected to loud slurping. Then, she has breakfast which is normally cereal and milk, so again more slurping accompanied by crunching and scraping of the bottom of the bowl to get every last morsel. By this time, I've heard OKIE DOKIE at least four times and she might've thrown in a few "you bet your sweet bippie!" for good measure. She may or may not call her mother and those conversations are PRICELESS. First of all, her mother is hard of hearing so she talks even louder. Then, she speaks to her like she's five. I couldn't believe this but I promise you, she had a conversation with her mother about bowel movements. Of course, I have no idea what her mother was saying, but previously she had explained to me that her mother HAS to have a bowel movement every day or she thinks she's sick and will take loads of laxatives (stimulating office conversation for sure). I distinctly remember her saying, "Mother, I've been reading about it and it's normal not to have a bowel movement every day. Yes Mother, everybody has them. It's a natural body function." I almost fell off my chair silently cracking up.
I remember one time, she farted so loud she exclaimed "excuse me!" I was like O.M.G.! I immediately sent an e-mail to my friends and the subject line was, "she just farted!" I'm telling you, I cannot make this stuff up! Then, every now and then she'll let out a belch that would put any beer drinkin' man to shame.
Lunchtime. Lord help me if it's Taco Salad Day (Thursday) at the deli downstairs. Man, she crunches down on them chips! On these days, I have to physically leave my desk because I CANNOT take it.
During the day, she talks to herself. I imagine when she is about to begin or finish a task, she exclaims, "O.K.!" When she's angry about something she'll say, "well piss on me!" or something just as colorful that I can't think of at the moment. She's also prone to bouts of heavy sighing.
The complaints NEVER stop. I remember when the company installed flat-screen monitors to replace the bulletin boards. Her comment, "they could've taken the money it cost to do that and gave me a raise." We have a fitness center and coordinator who sends out tips occasionally about diet & exercise. One e-mail he sent advised people to eat 6 small meals per day. Her comment, "how am I supposed to eat 6 times a day - are you kidding me?!" I'm thinking, thank God you don't eat 6x a day or I would NEVER be at my desk. And oh yeah, how could I ever forget the complaint she brings up on almost a daily basis - the IT Department. They refuse to give her access to certain systems because she is a "security risk." But anytime there is a glich in the system, she'll say, "I know what to do but since THEY won't give me access to the system so I can't fix it because I'm a security risk even though I served in the Air Force for 20 years and had TOP SECURITY CLEARANCE." And the classic. Remember when gas was almost $4 a gallon. Well, she has an hour commute (0ne way) from the job. If I didn't hear this one time, I heard it 1,000 - "the company should let me work from home because I'm spending three times as much on gas now." My thought - didn't nobody tell yo ass to buy a house 50 miles from the job - that was YOUR choice, now suck it up (I know of several people whose commute is 1.5 hours on a good day and 2 hours on a bad one and I'm sure they felt the pinch just as much as she did). But see, the henpecked husband works from home 1x a week and we have 4 in the Dept. that do the same (once or twice a week) but only because of special circumstances so it was just burning her butt that she was not allowed to do the same.
On Wednesdays, we have an Abs Class in the fitness center. This woman has a serious gut. So, she goes to the class, (but doesn't bother to put on "gym clothes,") plops down on the mat and takes her shoes off. The class starts (it's not for the faint hearted). Throughout the whole class, she's saying stuff like, "Oh I can do THAT!" "That's easy!" - at the beginning of the class. Towards the middle, she's just sitting there watching everybody else or doing her own "modification" and by the end, she was toast! Needless to say, she hasn't bothered with the Wed. ab class anymore. I could go on and on but I think I've given you a pretty clear pic of the situation.
At the end of the day, she calls henpecked husband - "Hellllllllo (which actually sounds like "heh woah" like a 2 y.o. who can't pronounce the L sound) are you ready to go home?" "O.K., I'm gonna shut down and I'm on my way." She drops off henpecked husband at work every day and picks him up every evening.
Now that I've laid pretty good foundation of what I go through sitting next to this woman during my workday. Surely you'll hear more in the coming days/months.
Stay tuned for Part II!
HOLLA!
I work in a rather large department (about 25 people) at the Corporate Office of an Animal Health pharmaceutical company. This department is responsible for taking complaints from the public and DVMs who have used our product and have experienced an "adverse event." Then, there's the department within the department (where I work) which is made up of three people. Initially, I was part of the larger department and took many a call from pissed off & upset people who's dog/cat/horse/cow had gotten ill from our products. A couple years ago I was promoted out of that madness and ended up where I am today.
Every day, for 8 hours a day, I am mostly irritated and partly amused at the antics of the woman who sits next to me. I remember when I was first promoted to the position, the cubicles were such that we could see each other. A quick call to Office Services remedied that situation within a week. I already knew, there was no way in hell I was going to let this woman be all up in my business like that! At first, she tried to offer her suggestions on how I should do MY job (because she had "helped" the prior person in the position), so I quickly adopted this statement that shut her up immediately - "I'll ask Dr. P how he wants to handle it (Dr. P is the Director). As time went on, we became accustomed to one another. There was never any tension, arguing or disagreements between us. We work well together because both of us have totally different responsibilities. She knows certain aspects about my job, as I know certain aspects of hers, but there has never been any need for either one of us to cover for one another - except when either one of us are on vacation and then, there is only so much either one of us can do. Works perfectly for me.
So, you may be asking - where does the "mostly irritated" come in? Well, I'll tell you. She complains about EVERYTHING, is always quick to point out the negative, talks so loud that I think she has a hearing problem, if I don't almost whisper when I'm on the phone on a personal call, when I hang up she'll make some stupid comment like I was talking to her, when people are having a conversation and happen to walk past, she'll comment out the clear blue sky on their conversation, she says "OKIE DOKIE!" at the end of EVERY conversation, if I'm out of the office for a doctor's appointment, she'll tell anyone who calls my extension instead of just saying, "she's out of the office, mayI take a message," anytime she's out of the office (let's say for vacation), she has to tell EVERYBODY that calls, "well, I'm outta here in x days - I'm going on vacation to Hawaii!" (her & henpecked husband have a timeshare and that's the only place they EVER go), or when she comes back from vacation, "I just got back from vacation in Hawaii!" Her son just graduated from MU (he wants to be a meterologist), but you would think he just graduated from Princeton or Harvard because she told EVERYBODY that called, "I'll be out because my son is graduating from MU." Daily, this is my prayer - Lord, Jesus help me!
A "typical" day goes something like this.
In the a.m., she drinks hot tea, so I'm subjected to loud slurping. Then, she has breakfast which is normally cereal and milk, so again more slurping accompanied by crunching and scraping of the bottom of the bowl to get every last morsel. By this time, I've heard OKIE DOKIE at least four times and she might've thrown in a few "you bet your sweet bippie!" for good measure. She may or may not call her mother and those conversations are PRICELESS. First of all, her mother is hard of hearing so she talks even louder. Then, she speaks to her like she's five. I couldn't believe this but I promise you, she had a conversation with her mother about bowel movements. Of course, I have no idea what her mother was saying, but previously she had explained to me that her mother HAS to have a bowel movement every day or she thinks she's sick and will take loads of laxatives (stimulating office conversation for sure). I distinctly remember her saying, "Mother, I've been reading about it and it's normal not to have a bowel movement every day. Yes Mother, everybody has them. It's a natural body function." I almost fell off my chair silently cracking up.
I remember one time, she farted so loud she exclaimed "excuse me!" I was like O.M.G.! I immediately sent an e-mail to my friends and the subject line was, "she just farted!" I'm telling you, I cannot make this stuff up! Then, every now and then she'll let out a belch that would put any beer drinkin' man to shame.
Lunchtime. Lord help me if it's Taco Salad Day (Thursday) at the deli downstairs. Man, she crunches down on them chips! On these days, I have to physically leave my desk because I CANNOT take it.
During the day, she talks to herself. I imagine when she is about to begin or finish a task, she exclaims, "O.K.!" When she's angry about something she'll say, "well piss on me!" or something just as colorful that I can't think of at the moment. She's also prone to bouts of heavy sighing.
The complaints NEVER stop. I remember when the company installed flat-screen monitors to replace the bulletin boards. Her comment, "they could've taken the money it cost to do that and gave me a raise." We have a fitness center and coordinator who sends out tips occasionally about diet & exercise. One e-mail he sent advised people to eat 6 small meals per day. Her comment, "how am I supposed to eat 6 times a day - are you kidding me?!" I'm thinking, thank God you don't eat 6x a day or I would NEVER be at my desk. And oh yeah, how could I ever forget the complaint she brings up on almost a daily basis - the IT Department. They refuse to give her access to certain systems because she is a "security risk." But anytime there is a glich in the system, she'll say, "I know what to do but since THEY won't give me access to the system so I can't fix it because I'm a security risk even though I served in the Air Force for 20 years and had TOP SECURITY CLEARANCE." And the classic. Remember when gas was almost $4 a gallon. Well, she has an hour commute (0ne way) from the job. If I didn't hear this one time, I heard it 1,000 - "the company should let me work from home because I'm spending three times as much on gas now." My thought - didn't nobody tell yo ass to buy a house 50 miles from the job - that was YOUR choice, now suck it up (I know of several people whose commute is 1.5 hours on a good day and 2 hours on a bad one and I'm sure they felt the pinch just as much as she did). But see, the henpecked husband works from home 1x a week and we have 4 in the Dept. that do the same (once or twice a week) but only because of special circumstances so it was just burning her butt that she was not allowed to do the same.
On Wednesdays, we have an Abs Class in the fitness center. This woman has a serious gut. So, she goes to the class, (but doesn't bother to put on "gym clothes,") plops down on the mat and takes her shoes off. The class starts (it's not for the faint hearted). Throughout the whole class, she's saying stuff like, "Oh I can do THAT!" "That's easy!" - at the beginning of the class. Towards the middle, she's just sitting there watching everybody else or doing her own "modification" and by the end, she was toast! Needless to say, she hasn't bothered with the Wed. ab class anymore. I could go on and on but I think I've given you a pretty clear pic of the situation.
At the end of the day, she calls henpecked husband - "Hellllllllo (which actually sounds like "heh woah" like a 2 y.o. who can't pronounce the L sound) are you ready to go home?" "O.K., I'm gonna shut down and I'm on my way." She drops off henpecked husband at work every day and picks him up every evening.
Now that I've laid pretty good foundation of what I go through sitting next to this woman during my workday. Surely you'll hear more in the coming days/months.
Stay tuned for Part II!
HOLLA!
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